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We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but the road to life is long and short at the same time. Live your best life.
This is a women’s lifestyle site that covers business, the road to financial independence, investments, style, culture, food, travel, life AFTER 30 years of marriage, empty nesting, and friendships.
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December 5, 2023 | 17,155 days on this earth.
You can’t change the past. You can’t change anyone else. You can only change yourself. Your life is what you make it. I’ve been through so much. I’ve received so much. I’ve given so much. I’ve loved so much. I have no regrets. I would not change my life, my decisions, my choices, my family, for anything in the world. Life was suppose to happen this way. It was good, it was great, it was sad, it was bad, it was horrible…it was everything, it was everything that it was suppose to be, for me.
And now I’m here 17,155 days into life. Life keeps going, it waits for no one. Enjoy it while it’s good, enjoy it while it’s chaos, enjoy it while it’s there. Because you’ll never be this young, this healthy, this alive, this happy, this full ever again.
10/28/2023 sending letters "home"
I'm here.. You're there. The letters are coming in. Like it was 1991. But it's 2023. And it's just a bit different this time around. Life happens. Life changes. Life goes on. Life doesn't stop for me, life doesn't stop for you. Everyday keeps going. Change is hard. Life is hard. But love shouldn't have been so hard. You might not have known that it could hurt this much. We had everything. You never realized everything couldn've come to an end. But with enough bridges burned to the ground, those of us that you left behind or stepped on, or pushed away, just started to settle where we left us. You never looked back to realize that we were not behind you, we stopped following you, until one day, until today, you are all alone... It may seem easy for me, but I've been through it, I had to go through my seven years of loneliness, sadness, and then I lost the love and regret, slowly but surely I was pushed to that wall and then you through me over without realizing, I could run, now it's your turn, it might kill you little by little, day by day, but in the end, it won't feel like it kills you anymore, it'll just be. We can only control ourself. We can't control anyone else. Change is good. Only time will tell, where we will be in one year, in three years, in five years.
10/9/2023 Day 100 since then
It's been 100 days. I have begun my journey into healing. Still a long way to go. But I've begun. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so start healing today, love today, live today. Have no regrets. Life will fall into place where we should be. I am so thankful for the love I've had the pleasure to have. I am so thankful for the life I've had the pleasure to live. I appreciate all the time I've had to spend with my children before they 'left the nest', attending their school activities, plays, games, volunteering at their schools, going on family vacations. All while, building our relationships with family and friends, building our business in the community we raised our children in. Everything was the best it could be. But unfortunately, what goes up, must come down. Back down to reality...and now we are here. Money makes you more of who you always were. Good or bad, that is the true part. And that's what I'm going through now. My 'Perfect Barbie World' has been roughed up with the 'Mojo Dojo Casa House'. Everything changes, and my life has taken a hard left turn, and I'm sliding along the leather seats. I don't know where I will be, but for now I'll relax and pray that all will be well and end well, as it falls into place for my future. Thankful for a loving family.
9/28/2023 if you cant say anything nice.play a song for them
Everybody's asking what the hell happened
Wonderin' why it all went wrong
Mama always said, "If you can't say something nice
Then don't say anything at all"
And I've got my side of the story and he's got his side, too
So I ain't gonna go and tell you what he did
But I'll tell you what he didn't do
Treat me right, put me first, be a man of his word
Stay home 'cause he wanted to
Always fight for my love, hold on tight like it's something
That he couldn't stand to lose
The devil's in the details, I won't tell the hell that he put me through
All I know is in the end, it wasn't what he did
No, it was what he didn't do
I'm already halfway over him and I ain't taking time to turn around
So I'ma take the high road, even though we both know
I could run him out of this town
That's just dirty laundry, I don't need to wear the truth
So I ain't gonna tell you everything he did
But I'll tell you what he didn't do
Treat me right, put me first, be a man of his word
Stay home 'cause he wanted to
Always fight for my love, hold on tight like it's something
That he couldn't stand to lose
The devil's in the details, I won't tell the hell that he put me through
All I know is in the end, it wasn't what he did
No, it was what he didn't do
I ain't met the right one yet but I know when I do
He'll treat me right, put me first, be a man of his word
Stay home 'cause he wanted to
Always fight for my love, hold on tight like it's something
That he can't stand to lose
The devil's in the details, I won't tell the hell that he put me through
All I know is in the end, it wasn't what he did
No, it was what he didn't do
And all I know is in the end, it wasn't what he did
No, it was what he didn't do
~ Carly Pearce
8/22/2023 Seven and a half weeks after
Seven and a half weeks after all that drama. I'm here. He's there. The decisions he made brings us to where we are re now. We all aren't perfect, but doesn't mean we have to be crappy. I guess all our perfect Barbie lives have to come to an end some day. What goes up must come down. Our life together has always gone up. We started so early, worked so hard, and had so much fun along the way. And now, it has come to this. It's time to begin a new chapter. Life goes on. It can't wait. It can't wait for us. Good or bad, life goes on. A new chapter with or without each other. A new chapter always happening. A new chapter, after the last. Pack your bags for a next chapter. More interesting than the last. Let's see where we go from here.
7/3/2023 The end begins now
Going into the month of the 30th year, our forever is now 'officially' over. It was a long time coming, everybody saw it coming, my youngest son and I lived the last drops of it. And then it happened the way it did, and now I'm done wondering (those details might come up in a future future future post, but for now…it’s too new, I'm not ready yet).
But, I can finally move into the healing process, the healing stage of my life. Thirty years, not that it was all bad, but I can say with certainty that the last 10 years were the worst part of my best first life. I built a family. I built friendships. I built a business. I built life anyone or everyone could've would've and was, is, and no longer jealous of. it’s ok.
I’m happy it started the way it did. I don't regret it. I can't say I was happy the entire time, but it went the way it did during the 30 years, and I appreciate all the good times, the bad times, all the lessons learned, and I gained four beautiful strong independent grown children from it.
And now I’m no longer too sad, it was ten years in the making and coming to this end, but I do get angry at times, but I happy that it finally ended. Marriage is hard, being married so young with kids and responsibilities is really hard work, making it last thirty years was hard hard work.
My 30 years of marriage, from the husband to the marriage, to the in-law, was harder than the kids and building the business.
So now that I'm here, kicked out, and with nothing but my clothes thrown out to the street, I’m going through my thoughts, feelings, and things, I have to remember that only better days will be coming.
I have my supportive adult children, I have my supportive family, and sorry to leave you hangin' with no juicy details, But come back again for my journey through this thing called 'forever‘ because forever ended. And all I'm left with is the emotions of sad, angry, mad, and maybe happy that it finally ended and stopped dragging me through the dirt.
6/21/2023 something so personal
Going into 30 years of marriage, you'd think we would know what we were doing. But like anyone else, people are always changing, their health, their mental state, their likes, their wants, their needs, no amount of love can keep it all together.
This new road had lead to a different spaces. It’s time to think, reevaluate, and heal.
Life goes on. It doesn't stop.
There's a saying, I saw on Facebook, "If it's meant to be, it will be. You won't have to force, convince or worry over it. Let it flow, let it be and let it come to you. You're attracting everything you need. Trust the timing of everything."
I don't know where the road will lead, but I know now...OMG FINALLY! I know it shouldn't be this hard.